In Brenda Hampton's newest episode of Secret Life, a lot happens. Actually, a whole lot of nothing happens. Instead, this episode seems like the viewer is suffering from an acute case of deja vu. Ben and his father (the Sausage King) fight about his adult status and the legality of his relationship with Amy. Grace continues to lament the fact that her great sex killed her father. Tom lambasts Jack, telling him having sex with Grace killed Grace's Dad and denies wanting to ever have sex with Tammy, his girlfriend, if it has such dire consequences.
Amy continues to yell at everyone and complain about being a teenage mother (were the viewers aware of how tired Amy is? Well, after this episode, I'm sure they get the hint). Adrian's long-lost dad tells her to stop having sex. The only thing new that seemed to make this episode different from any other is that the characters (most of which have never even had a scene with him) buried Mr. Grace's Dad. Well, bury isn't exactly right. They sort of all spread his ashes all over a golf course.
The only other two indications that this episode was not, in fact, a compilation of all past episodes were that Amy discussed with Anne the discussion she had with Grace in which Grace called John (Amy's baby) a punishment for engaging in premarital sex. Jack's dad also had a short pep talk with Grace in which he told her he didn't think sex before marriage was actually a sin, which seems a little odd for this show, but whatever the writers want to write. It isn't like they've been writing solid characters for the past season anyway. Oh, and Betty the Internet Prostitute and Tom share a knowing glance. Perhaps the jig will be up sooner than we know.
The Low-Down
Ah, Secret Life. Firstly, Amy is so evil. Her character was seemingly invented to teach children watching not to get pregnant, but she should also be teaching them not to be moodswinging bitches. Maybe there's going to be a postpartum depression story line, but she was just as mean before she got pregnant. She has one emotion and one motivation for her solitary emotion: yelling at everyone because she has a baby. It looks like in the next episode, Ben is going to wander towards Adrian. Not surprising since Amy can't stop screaming at the poor kid. He's not even her baby's father, treats her so nicely and she uses him as her personal sounding board.
One thing this episode deserves major props for is that it toned down the mention of sex. Sure, the word was still batted around about 50 times, but that's significantly less than usual. However, due to the lack of storyline, Brenda's minion writers proved they can't really eek out one unless it involves sex, sex and more sex.
Betty the Internet Prostitute is getting some more time and revealing a little more of her character. Ben's reaction to her prostitute past is going to be a doozy, but there's no way of knowing when the big event will take place. The Sausage King's reaction is going to be classic, that's for sure.
Anne's Tom-Hanks-a-Like boyfriend seemed to fall off on this episode as well. Granted, he's not that important to this story arc, it'll be interesting to see if Anne and Tom-Hanks-a-like end up getting married or calling it quits, forcing Anne to be a single mom (with a grandchild about a year older than her own child, no less).
Coming Up Next
Next week's episode seems like its going to bring some juice. "The truth" is going to be revealed, with characters questioning who actually is Amy's baby daddy. Ben seems like he's going to stray to Adrian. But again, these could all be Brenda Hampton editing Jedi mind tricks.
WHAT: Secret Life of the American Teenager
WHEN: 8pm, Monday Evenings
WHERE: ABC Family
WHO: Starring: Molly Ringwald, Shailene Woodley, Daren Kagasoff, Ken Bauman, Francia Raisa, India Eisley, Megan Park, Steve Schirripa and Mark Derwin Produced by: Brenda Hampton
RUN TIME: 1 hour each episode
